Corinth, Texas

acrylic on canvas

14 inches long x 18 inches wide

I went through a series of major surgeries, one a year for five years on my gut, stomach and pancreas. When it became clear to me that the last surgery was a failure, I painted this. I sat and cried and cried and questioned my decision on every surgery. I wondered how in the hell I could be so bad off after a promising surgery left me in such bad shape. I questioned my medical team and my decisions. I was left with despair and depression. I was left with a mess, no one wanted to help or understand me. People made fun of me and cast me out. Even as I write this and recount the tragedy, the tears won’t stop rolling down my face. It's a feeling of aloneness, emptiness and fear, and pain, physical pain, emotional pain, spiritual pain.